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01-Apr-2016 16:08 by 10 Comments

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” He pointed to a bunch of papers tacked on the wall. “Yep,” I said, and ordered some mackerel and a side of edamame. At this point, a came in, wearing a black suit and carrying a briefcase.

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Apparently, these things are quite normal for people from New Jersey. Then after dinner, Kurtis peaced out, caught the train, and I was faced with a dilemma. Of course, we covered all the usual ground with the proprietor, and he couldn’t help but remark on how well I used chopsticks or how incredible it was that I could eat octopus sashimi. But my overwhelming black-ness aside, dinner was great, as Kurtis and I had some pretty great clams in butter sauce, a plate of fresh sashimi, and a massive tofu salad with sesame dressing. He doesn’t look Japanese, but he still looks Asian, even if he’s secretly white. ” “Just green tea,” replied Kurtis in Japanese, since he doesn’t drink. He gave Kurtis the tea and said in Japanese, “Here’s some tea for you.” Then he handed me the edamame and said in English, “soybeans.” “Thank you,” I said in Japanese. If you don’t look Asian, it doesn’t matter if you’re a Japanese citizen, speak perfect Japanese, or a descendant of Oda Nobunaga himself, it’s still gonna happen. So to any persons of color who happen to read this, I’d like to personally apologize for every time I sang “Rapper’s Delight,” while of course holding the microphone sideways. Grab a couple of tall ones at the convenience store and go home and drink alone. There I could blend in, speak English, and be with “my people.” You know, all those folks from France and New Zealand. or: Today I saw this white guy, spoke English, and he was a complete a-hole. I got to the restaurant first, a little in my neighborhood I’d been dying to try out. They’re either going home to tell their parents, Today I saw this white guy, spoke English, and he was awesome! Which was true, and in fact I’d made plans with a friend for dinner, a Chinese-American guy from New Jersey named Kurtis.

Plus, they’re kids, so you gotta cut ’em some slack.

They’ve been trained since birth by their teachers and an army of JETs and ALTs that when they see a white face, speak English.

The “Japanese People Don’t Want you to Speak Japanese” part is one of those minor things I’ve always been afraid of whenever I think of how my first trip to Japan will be . —-well, I can’t say what Your Japan will be like, but I can tell you about My Japan. Running up the stairs, I found myself surrounded by school kids, who immediately began yelling, “Hello!

Consequently, it’s made me want to reach at least fluent level of Japanese before I ever make the trip.—-is that a Spanish name? It was a hot, gray day, and I finished work early then hustled to the station. Like if I saw a guy and I thought he looked homosexual, should I shout, “Yo, gay pride!

I mean, is it really all right to publicly single people out? Those two always don’t coincide, but hey, you still gotta have goals. The place was empty—-it was still early—-and the owner walked out to greet me.

Now, on the one hand, I don’t want to encourage them. So I said “hello” back, because although my objective for 2014 is to improve my Japanese, my other objective is not to be such a complete a-hole. There was a sign out front saying “Open for Business” in Japanese, so in I went.

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